Welcome to Orange Frog Productions Owner Section [Banner]

Page Title:

Prompted by Email - I Love You
by Bill Sanders - May 14, 2006 - Mother's Day

Page last updated/all links last verified July 23, 2006

The Email - Mother's Day
Reformatted by Bill Sanders

Mother's Day

When you came into the world, she held you in her arms.

You thanked her by wailing like a flute.

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.

You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.

You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.

You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.

You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.

You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.

You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.

You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbors window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.

You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.

You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another.

You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.

You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.

You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

---Those teenage years---

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.

You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.

You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.

You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to driver her car.

You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.

You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.

You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

---Growing old and gray---

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to Campus and carried your bags.

You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassment in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.

You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.

You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.

You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.

You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiancée and asked about your plans for the future.

You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.

You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.

You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.

You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.

You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.

And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder.

--Author Unknown--

Taking Advantage of an Email - THE WORDS

No one sees all the things they did to others until they are older.

Not all of the "bullies" in school realize the damage to ego and self-esteem they cause their victims until much later. Some never do. For some, it takes what Oprah calls an "Ah-Ha Moment", sometimes at the hands of someone bullying them. Some forget about everything they've done as soon as they've done it. (No, I wasn't a bully to anyone but my siblings. But the above prompted that thought. Hopefully, the email above prompts someone's "Ah-ha" moment.)

The above was written for Mothers. The same (or more) can be said of Fathers.

Harry Chapin had a song called "The Cat's in the Cradle" (see Harry Chapin's "Cat's In The Cradle" Lyrics Off Site New Window - lyrics by Sandra Chapin - redone by Guns & Roses; Ugly Kid Joe (fairly faithful cover - video at YouTube - Ugly Kid Joe - Cats In The Cradle Off Site New Window); and others, I'm sure) pointing out how fathers influence their boys.
Mike & the Mechanics had "The Living Years" (see Mike & the Mechanics' "The Living Years" Lyrics Off Site New Window); - music & lyrics by Mike Rutherford/B.A. Robertson - video at YouTube - Mike + The Mechanics - The Living Years Video Off Site New Window) where the singer laments never having told his father how much he meant to him while he was alive.)

Both (and MANY other songs), though written specifically for one parent, can apply to both. More germane to Mother's Day is the latter.

Three words... Eight letters... What makes it difficult for some to say "I love you", and mean it, to their parents while they are "alive and kicking"? Some people (guys especially) find it easier to say it to ... let's say "non-family" (meaning people they didn't "grow up" in the same house with) than they do to their own parents and siblings. Some have reasons (abuse - of the child or other parent, abandonment, etc.) Others don't.

For most, it's known. It's known by the way parents make sure:

you have the material, emotional, spiritual and intellectual things you NEED
you DON'T have all the things you WANT
you know the difference between right and wrong
you are punished you when you do wrong
you have everything you need to succeed
you have a "better chance" to "be all that you can be" by sacrificing their time, money and energies to you
you know you have worth (even when you don't feel you do)
you learn you have to do things you DON'T like to live on your own (clean the house, dishes, mow the lawn, etc.)
you have the chance to try things they'd never have tried (no... not drugs)
you know what can hurt you in "the real world"
you know ...

Most people DON'T appreciate everything their parents did for them until they're older or until they are gone. Look at the Mother's Day piece, again, and all the things your mother did for you and think about the way you reacted at the time. It's probably pretty close.

But even when there's dissention (and I mean disagreements, arguments, frustrations, punishments, etc., not "knock-down, drag out" fights), most people know their parents (and especially their mothers) love them. Then why is it so hard to say the words?

Maybe we didn't HEAR them as we were growing up. Maybe your parents never heard their parents say it, so it makes them "uncomfortable", too. At one time, I'm sure, some felt that it was a "sign of weakness" to actually "say the words". Besides, "actions speak louder than words", right? And, girls seem to be able to say it to their parents easier than guys. Why?

Growing up and for a time, usually when you're under around 20, you don't want to say it in front of your friends because they may, would or have made fun of others who have. (If this is the case, I have a suggestion here - Come up with a secret code word!) Then as you get to the age you may realize and appreciate the list above and want to say it, it's hard because it's been so long, would be uncomfortable and has become a habit not to.

And then, as in many songs and movies, it's too late, and you're standing at a gravestone saying it.

I spent 15+ years with a woman who hugged everyone in the family (hers, mine and others) when they left or we left. She had little problem saying the words, and, I believe, meant them. We divorced, not because we didn't love each other, but we were no longer IN love with other. I have always believed that you can love people without being "in love" with them. But she's still a hugger and still says the words, and, I choose to believe, means them. You don't know how many times in those 15 years I wish I could be as ... "free"(?) as she was. However, we have raised our boys to say them and to hug our family. If they're sitting, they at least squeeze hands saying "hug-hug". Hopefully, the ability to say "I love you" to family will be something they "pass on".

Meanwhile, I still can't say it (out loud) to my parents or siblings, and I'm over 50, my siblings are both over 40, my parents are over 70, and my one remaining grandparent is over 90! So, we just go on "knowing".

Ok... I can't SAY it... (even analyzing why, above, I still don't know for sure why)... BUT, I CAN WRITE it...

To my Mother and Mamaw, for Mother's Day - whether I say it or not, you HAVE to know that I love you both. Thank you for believing in me, through the years, even when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for accepting the women in my life, whether you believed it would work or not. I know, now, trying to help my wife with her kids, that it's something I had to learn on my own (as they do). I know we all get frustrated with each other for various reasons. [Mom - GET ON THAT COMPUTER! I KNOW you can do all we've discussed. It might take you a little longer, now, (get frustrated and stop for a while - an hour, a day or so, but don't let that stop you! )], but we DO KNOW, don't we?

To my Dad... Well... You know? You surprised me back in my early 20s when I was going through losing my first girlfriend... You said something I don't remember you EVER having said before... We were talking on the phone and you said "You know we love you and are proud of you... ". That's the first time I remember you ever having said that. It meant a lot then and still does. And I know, but do you? I love you. Thank you for my PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). It may have taken some time for me to realize it, but all those "Happy Days" and PMA lectures must have done their job. If I ever (rarely) get depressed, it doesn't last long. Your support when I needed it (financially, emotionally, etc.) has kept me (and my brother and sister) going.

To both Mom and Dad: I understand your frustration with the grandkids... And wish you and Mom hadn't cursed us with that "Wait until you have children of your own", but they all seem to be turning out all right.

To my brother and sister: I love you. I'm sorry for everything and anything I did to hurt you when we were young. "If I knew then what I know now..." You and your spouses have given me great nieces and nephews, even with the mercurial mood swings they have. (It's probably that curse and the "teenage" years!)

To my kids: We say it all the time. Part of that is your mother's (my ex's) doing. Part because I want you to know without having to KNOW (see above). Remember the song I wrote when our first was a baby... the line "Though we might take for granted that some things are known... Always remember, I love you my son..." though written then, is meant for both of you. I love you.

To my wife's kids: We don't see a lot of each other, but I know you through your mom. I do love you and want the best for all of you. Don't ever forget that.

To my exes (ex-wife and ex-girlfriends): I covered my ex-wife above, and she knows. We're still friends, even after being divorced. (It IS possible, you know... Especially when kids are involved...) The ex-girlfriends? I don't know... But when this hits OFP, you will find out that I DO love you. You gave me love when I needed it (and I hope the reverse is true.) You also helped me learn what love means. I hope you all have found the happiness I have.

To my wife: I love you. (Oh... We DO say it every day, at least once... This is for the following.) I don't know how you can put up with me (not being able to leave the house without your driving - knee, balance and vehicle mod problems (see website for more) and, therefore, not being able to work; spending so much time on the computer (my main "escape" from all that); my not watching the same shows you do all the time, and even then watching on another TV (so I can "mess around" on the computer while watching); the times I'm "grumpy" (ok... You're grumpy at times, too, but I'm not grumpy that often, so when I DO get grumpy... ); YOUR having to take the dogs out to "do their doody" (rain or shine) because they won't with me; working, cooking, cleaning, etc.; etc.; etc.

To those who have "gone on": I hope you all knew and know I love you and miss you.

And to everyone else in the extended family: I love you. You may not HEAR me say it, but please don't ever think that it's not the case.

There... Now all I need to do is publish this on OFP and EVERYONE will know or can find out.

What does all this have to do with the email, above? Only that it made me reflect, and prompted me to write this. I hope it does the former (and the latter, at least) for others, too.

And everyone else in the world... Tell them... If you have to write it, tell them. Don't let "everything you never did came crashing down like thunder" and/or "The Living Years" happen to you.

"You don't know what you got (till it's gone)." Don't wait.

by Bill Sanders © May 14, 2006 - email:

Send email to Bill Sanders ()
with questions or comments about this page or site.

This site, all text and graphics (unless otherwise noted) on it
were designed, developed and published by Bill Sanders of Orange Frog Productions.
It and it's CSS was validated and complies with both the: CSS and HTML 4.01 validators from W3C.
NOTE: All CSS validates except the "New Window Buttons" which include some invalid code (ie: hacks),
added PicoSearch Tables, and warnings for using transparent backgrounds when color foregrounds defined.
Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 by Bill Sanders / Full site last modified: October 21, 2006
Any reproduction, printing, or selling of this content is prohibited without express written consent from William D. Sanders.